i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
