I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
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