i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
