I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
i've created a new STD.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
