i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
