It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
