I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Randomize
