Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
