bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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