You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
