Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Randomize
