Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
is wine microwaveable?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
