So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Randomize
