Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
