I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Just high enough for therapy.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
