He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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