Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Randomize
