Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
