he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I have post one night stand depression
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