9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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