i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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