So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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