Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
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