i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Randomize
