Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
