well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
