I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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