so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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