For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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