I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
