Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
