btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
