Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
