...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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