Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
