You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
