If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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