What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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