when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
