Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
