evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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