You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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