I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
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