we have pet lesbian snakes
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Randomize
