just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
