I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
