Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
found the other keg... it's in the tree
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
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