"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
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