I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
