Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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