I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
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