But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Randomize
