I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
