Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
